Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
