is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
