I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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