It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
