I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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