mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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