i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
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When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
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i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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