hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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