you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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