i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
