is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
