dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
