I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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