Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
