at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
