We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
