Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
