Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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