After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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