it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize