I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
