I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
