I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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