Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
