Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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