why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
