So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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