Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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