I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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