apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
