My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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