He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
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It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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