We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
