I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
