I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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