I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
