im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize