I think my vagina is haunted
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
