I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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