just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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