Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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