i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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