I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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