I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize