Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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