just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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