If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
