try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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