Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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