There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
