Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.