Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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