census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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