I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
