My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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