So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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