Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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