Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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