I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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