you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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