we should wear snuggies to the strip club
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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